OMG, did I make him sad and hurt?

I really didn't mean to make you sad,
disappointed or make you hurt.

I just cant find a good words to tell you.

I just don't know how to tell you the truth.
Keeping this will make both of us carrying this burden.
It will suffer you to know my answer.
I'm not so sure whether this is the right thing to do.
But once I told you, I can't turn back it again.
So i just hope that you understand me.
And please don't hate me for my decision.
I gotta be honest with you.
And I don't wanna lie to myself, my feeling.
Its not that I hate you.
But it just that I don't love you.
You are still stranger in my life.
And its not that I don't wanna give you chance
to know me more but
I just think that it wasn't worth it.
My past have teach me to be careful.
I just hope that I didn't do my stupid mistake
that make me feel so broken heart.
Make me suffer.
And it takes more time to heal.
Take more courage and guts to move on.
So, once again i wanna tell you this.
LET US BE JUST FRIEND.
AND NOT MORE THAT THAT.
I hope you understand me and my feeling.


Truly by me: Emma Gabrie

OOO NOOOO!!!!

Hi all, wow its been so long i haven't update my blog. I miss my blog. I have few topics that i wanna share with you on my blog but too bad everything that I have prepare for my topic was left on my laptop at home. This few days, I'm at my cousin's house. Therefore, I can't really remember all my topics and the key points of it. So sorry...:(((( I will update again my blog soon.

I Love You but I Have to Forget You

Obviously, its really hard for me to be honest about how i feel.

Its true that i'm drunk in love that makes me looks clumsy sometimes.

Too bad he doesn't know how I feel about him.

This is because I never tell him.

I think telling him would not be a good idea but not taking the chance might makes me feel regret.

That is why it is hard for me to carry this burden of my own feelings.

Plus, he is too far from my eyes but he will always be here right in my heart.

I don't want to get rid of him out of my mind and out of my heart.

I want him to be part of me.

But sometimes, I just wants to forget him.

Erasing the memories of him.

Its just that I love him too much and now it is hard to let him go easily.

No matter how hard I try it just wont go off naturally.

I don't know what else should I do.

Telling him might be pointless and I'm afraid of rejection because I never feel rejection before.

I miss him and love him dearly.

I keep on telling myself not to miss or love him but I just can't do it.

Sorry, maybe its not the right time for me to speak out about my feeling but if we both are meant to be together,

so

LET IT BE.

Truly by me: Emma Maria 16/12/10

Pirates of the Caribbean 4: On Stranger Tides

Woohoo, yay, I really cant wait for this movie to came out.

Walt Disney Pictures just released the first trailer for Capt. Jack's fourth adventure, "Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides." And while several of the elements that made the original three films one of the top five trilogies of all time are the same, much has changed.

Johnny Depp is back, of course, as Jack, along with Geoffrey Rush as his old nemesis, Barbossa, and Kevin R. McNally as his first mate, Gibbs. ButOrlando Bloom and Keira Knightley do not appear in this installment. Instead, Jack confronts new threats, including a legendary pirate, and a woman from his past that reignites an old flame. Jack will have to face them all as he pursues the ultimate hidden treasure: finding the Fountain of Youth.

Optimism vs Pessimism

Instead of being pessimistic, why don't we change ourselves to become more optimistic? Why we should change the way we think and the way we act? This is because we are dealing with changing environment and in order for us to achieved our success. Moreover, there are some aspect that need us to change to be more optimistic. Optimism and pessimism is different but the sound of it is almost similar.

Optimism: Refers to a person who think rationally, positively, hopefulness and confidence about the future or successful outcome.

Pessimism: Refers to a person who think negatively and perceives everything negative. Don't have confidence in life and are expecting worst in life.

Therefore, in our life, being optimism is a positive culture in motivating ourselves and the others living in this big and complicated world. This is make us achieve our goals more easily by adopting "believe in everything we do" culture. We should think rationally and positively that we can do it no matter how hard the situation might be. When we being optimistic, we will tend to perform best and great thus minimizing the negative thought of "CAN'T DO IT". If we think that we cannot achieve something, this will lead us in doing no progress or improvement. We will stuck with our negative thought, definitely, SUCCESS us way too far from our reach. Remember, no matter how hard the situation can be, with our own effort and continually thinking positively, it is easy to be achieve. However, it do takes more time. We should be patience but keep on believing.

♥♥♥Is This What They Called Love♥♥♥

I know its been few weeks had passed,

few days had gone,

few hours had burned,

few minutes was drowned in time

and few seconds had fly,

but I still could not forget him.

I still keep on missing him no matter how hard I tried to forget him.

I still could not fight my own feeling.

It feels like something makes me attract him more.

But i just couldn't figure it out what it is?

Am I in love with him?

But I don't think so.

When I saw his picture, it makes me feel so regret

but regret of what?

It feels like I'm carrying some kind of heavy burden on me

He will never know about how I feel.

Because he is too far away.

Plus, I don't know much about him.

It was just the day of luck that he came.

But I don't understand the reason he came and left me with

this feeling.

Its hard for me to hate him because I love him.

But I don't love him like ♥LOVE♥ I just love to stare at him.

He has hazel brown eyes and red lips.

The more I describe him the more I feel so addicted to him.

It feel hurt for he is not here.

Sometimes, I wish he will come back.

But when having too much memories with him, soon it might turns to go wrong

when departing is approaching.

Indeed saying "Hi" is easy but saying "Goodbye" is really hard.

How can I be so sure about my feeling?

I can't erase you out from my mind.

Is it love or friend?

I wish there will be an answer for it.

A clue to make it more clear.

This is dedicated to someone.

and this is true from my heart.

Truly by me: Emma Maria (13/12/10)

Potential Obstacles to Planning by Manager

Planning is important in an organization. It is in order to make the organization runs smoothly, be productivity and as well as creating effective working environment. Beside, planning are made so that the organization will have goals and objectives to achieve. Planning can be a guideline to success. Without planning, the entire organization will be chaotic and something will definitely go wrong. However, there are few potential obstacles to planning by manager which are poor preparation of line managers in terms of their planning knowledges and skills, day-to-day work pressures, the views among some managers that planning is unnecessary, rapidly changing environment that makes planning more difficult and effective planning that was dominated by the planning specialists.

• Poor preparation of line managers in terms of planning knowledges and skills - To do planning, it need basic skills and knowledge so that everything that you plan will be the guideline through the process of making the organization runs effectively. Planning is not easy to do. It usually takes more time and also need the everyone's point of view. Therefore, the upper management or the General Manager should provide exposure to planning to all the first-line management. This is to make them well prepare when they get promoted to high managerial level and were asked to do planning. Then, they would face no problems when dealing with making planning.
• Day-to-day work pressure - Some manager are too busy with their work and they don't have enough time to do planning. There are more other works that they need to accomplish. Usually, manager will involved outside activities, meetings, and so much more.
• The view among some managers that planning is unnecessary - Some managers think that it is unnecessary because they are comfortable with their working condition. Planning will involves change in the organization. This will affect their comfort zone. Beside that, they might fear of failure when they make a plan. They resists to change. This will cause ineffective working environment.
• Rapidly changing environment - Due to rapidly changing environment, it makes planning more difficult to make. There are more things that need to be considered in planning. In changing environment, the manager also need to change the planning in order to suit with the situation or surrounding. These environments can be in terms of economic, social and politic.
• Effective planning was dominated by the planning specialist - Some organization do empowered the planning specialist to do the organization planning. They will have the more on the planning process. The manager did not participate in the planning process thus this will become their major obstacles to planning by the manager.

Mom, this is for you

1. It's time for you to understand that i'm big girl now and soon i will be making my own and big decisions. You still can support me.
2. I want to build my empire or my future with my own effort and strength. But your advices is still be so important.
3. I want to make my own decision especially in choosing the place for my practical training. God will always guide me. Have faith in Him.
4. I get inspired by well known Donald Trump and David Beckham. To never be afraid to achieve your dreams. Nothing is impossible.
5. I believe that I can do it. My lecturer said if you believe, then it will come true. So i believe that I can achieve my goals.
6. I want to be famous. Meaning, well known for something that I had contribute to the society or to the world based on my experiences.
7. I want to be independent in everything that I want to do and chose in my life. I want to expand my wings and fly.

Reverse of "You Belong With Me"

I'm on the phone with my boyfriend, he's upset

He's going off about something that I've said

Cause he doesn't get my humor like you do

You in your room, its a typical Friday night

You listening to the kind of music he doesn't like

And he'll never know my story like you do

But he wears cool shirt, you wears awesome shirt

He's football captain and you're on the bleachers

Dreaming bout the day, when i woke up and find

What i'm looking for has been here the whole time

If i could see that you're the one who understand me

Been here all along, so why can't i see?

I belong with you, I belong with you

Walking the street with me and my worn-out jeans

You can't help thinking this is how it ought to be

Laughing on the park bench, thinking to yourself

Hey, isn't this easy?~~~

And i've got a smile that could light up this whole town

You haven't seen it in a while since he brought me down

I said i'm fine, but you know me better than that

Hey, what i'm doing with a guy like that?

He wears nice shoes, you wears sneakers

He's football captain and you're on the bleachers

Dreaming bout the day, when i woke up and find

What i'm looking for has been here the whole time

If i could see that you're the one who understand me

Been here all along, so why can't i see?

I belong with you, I belong with you~~~

Oh, you remember i'm driving to your house in the middle of the night

You're the one who makes me laugh

When you know i'm about to cry

and you knows my favorite songs

and i tell you about my dreams

Think you know where i belong,

Think you its with you~~~

Can't I see that you're the one who understand me

Been here all along, so why can't i see

I belong with you~~~

Standing by and waiting at my back door

All this time, how could i not know?~~~

Baby, I belong with you, i belong with you

I belong with you

Have i ever thought just maybe

I belong with you, i belong with you~~~

Truly by me ♥♥

I walked miles away

looking for a direction of where it leads me

trying to get out from my tiny world

searching for peace and joy

in the valley of freedom

I fall but i learn to get up

to finish my journey

with something meaningful

to fill it with colors

that is what i'm aiming for

no matter what happen

in the middle of my journey

no matter how difficult it is to move forward

i will and i'm gonna face it with dignity

cause i'm not afraid

i have people around me

and i have God to guide me

to guide me when making decision,

guide my way

to keep me on track with the faith i carry on

dear friends that i have

lets us walk together to achieve our goals

to make our parents proud

to make the world know

that we can make a difference

Originally by me: Emma Maria

Yeah, This Is It...

Last Friday, I have two papers for final exams which are the Principle and Practice Management (9am -1130am) and Human Resources (1345pm - 1600pm). Well, the question is easy as well as the essay. Thank God , even though I studied it last minutes, I still can remember the main point of it.

That day was totally pack for us because two exams in one day. Plus, I'm the type of person who would spend exactly 3 hours for that exams. This is because i don't want to waste my time without doing doing my best. This is especially for the essays part.

I love to think more deeper and make my essays more interesting. I want to improve my result, get good result, get a good job and to make my future bright.

I believe that i can achieve my dreams.

After all my exams are over, it was totally a happy ending for me. No more stress at the moment, no more study but i still have to find place for my practical job next year. Another new stress will begin.

That night, my cousin and i went to KDCA to watch Kadazan Movie Premier. The title is "Christmas Homescoming". Its has sad ending. I think is not supposed to end like that.

Hmm.. i'm planning to write new script then i want to send it to the director. I hope he will like it and make movie for it.

Well, after it had finished, me and my cousin went back home. It was a tiring day for me. This lately, I haven't had enough sleep due to studying.

As a conclusion, this is the end of Semester 6 in my life.

I'm Not A Facebookholic but I'm A Bloggerholic

Hello all, I so happy that I would like to inform you all that I'm not a Facebookholic but I'm a Bloggerholic. I get addicted to update my blog. I get so interested and excited to know how many people has visited my blog. I find it was so much fun when i'm doing my blog rather than checking for people's status and people's profile in my facebook. I can think of many things that I want to post on my blogspot but it just that it need more ideas to put in. I think being a bloggerholic is a fun activities, I guess. But no matter what it is I ♥ BLOGSPOT. Have fun you all for those bloggerholic.

My Worst Toothache

Yesterday, I supposed to study for HIC final exam. But too bad I woke up late. And i didn't go for the Homestay Post Morterm meeting. In the afternoon, I did study for the exam but i can't concentrate well. Too much studying barriers Plus, the weather is cool and it is very suitable and comfortable to sleep in the evening. Then, my cousin woke me up to ask whether i'm going to the church for confession. Then, I was like because I wasn't prepared but i did go. I'm kinda worry that I might have no time to do my revision. So to cut off my time, I just prepared mind map about the essays. Well, I think it is helpful. I managed to answer it. And suddenly at night when its time for me to sleep, I've got the worst toothache ever. Feels like my left cheek was swollen. This toothache even makes me headache. I cant sleep until it was 1:30am. I can't even rest my body and mind. I think too much that I'm afraid this toothache might continue until the day i had my exam. That, night I forced myself to eat medicine. Actually, I really don't like to eat medicine but what else I can do. It was too painful. Lastly, I managed to sleep but not entirely comfortable sleep. I can still feel the pain. Hopefully, tonight NO MORE TOOTHACHE. I don't want it. It is too painful. I want to concentrate to study for my last two papers which are the Human Resources and Principle and Practical Management.

Discovery College, HK to Koposizon Homestay, Papar

My Best Day With Them ♥♥♥

Discovery College group arrived to Koposizon Homestay on 1st December around 9pm. There are 38 pax total including the two teachers, five Dragonfly staff and the students. They arrived to KOposizon Homestay after their trip from Klias to see the fireflies. They were given short briefing about the homestay and they were divided to thier host families. They were given light refreshment and the host had brought cake for the birthday girl, Carrie. There are two students (Ryan and Alex) and one Dragonfly staff stayed in my house (Scott Graham).

They woke up at 8:30am, getting ready and have our first day breakfast with the homestay host. Were are having porridge, noodles, sausages and backed bean for our breakfast. After breakfast, they are getting ready to go to the community hall to first day programs.

The students were divided into two groups so that it would be easier for them to do the activities without congestion. I'm with the Scott's group. First, we all went to the rubber plantation together with John's group to do the rubber tapping. After that, we went to the paddy field to fertilize the paddy manually (not with machine). Even though with the hot sun, they managed to finish the work very well. After finish fertilizing the paddy, we all went back to the community hall to have our lunch.

After that hard work, they were served lunch at the community hall. The food is being cater from the Muslim's caterer. We served "Halal food". They seems to enjoy the food.

The students are having their lunch together at the community hall.

My mum teach one of the student how to open the young coconut. It looks easy but it is very difficult. You wanna try it? Come to Koposizon Homestay.

They were doing the coconut grating activities by using the horse-like coconut grater. It was like riding a small horse. Alex is showing how he do the coconut grating.

The students trying the "pinompol", the sago pancake that my grandma and mother make. They are demonstrating how to cook the sago pancake. They even tell story about the past where they have no food, so they only eat sago pancake to survive during the war. It re-flashed back the memories. But its good for the students' understanding. They don't know about the past.

Mr. Robert is cooking the sago. Most of the students preferred to eat the cooked grubs than the raw grubs. The raw grubs is rich in protein.

Mr. John Michael is showing the students how to make the sago flour manually, which is by stepping the grated sago and added with water. The sago flour can be seen at the end of the process. Come and dance together while at the same time making the sago flour.

My mum is teaching them on how to make the "atap" by using the sago tree materials.

Even the Dragonfly's staff is doing it. Ganbate, Chieku.

After all the students had finish making the "atap", they all want to test is whether they had succeed making the waterproof "atap". They all went under the small hut with the "atap". Guess what happened? "The water leak"

We have our farewell party for the students at the community hall. There are some cultural performances by the village teenagers. But the students more interested in doing the bamboo dance because it looked challenging.

The teachers and even the Dragonfly' staffs were trying it.

I teach the students how to play the instrument for the bamboo dance beat. Well, it is so easy and the students are fast learner. So, it is easy for them to catch up. They even played the instrument for the final jam.

Then, we had souvenir giving ceremony. We took photo with our guests. Hope to meet them again.

We went to Mr. Robert's house for some karaoke time. But not all the students came because it was late at night. Only one teacher and three Dragonfly's staffs including me, Mr. William and Mr. Ajin.

At home, Ryan, Alex and my family were decorating the Christmas tree. Scott and me just came back from Robert's house. So we only take picture after they have done setting up the Christmas tree.

The next day, after they are leaving Koposizon Homestay and went back to Hong Kong, as a remembrance for them, the planted trees (coconut tree and palm tree) near the community hall and at the back of the information center near the river. This is also to support the Green Campaign.

We all gathered at the community hall after having our lunch at home together. All the students were wearing Dragonfly t-shirt. We had some activities together with the students. They were arranged into few groups together with their host family.

The activities includes walking on the coconut shells and playing the top.

Before we say goodbye to our guests, we took photo together with them. It feel so sad when it come to say goodbye. But i wish them well and hope to see them again soon.

All the homestay host waving goodbye to the students when they are departing from Koposizon Homestay to the airport. But the four Dragonfly's staff (Chieku, Adila, Scott and John) will be staying one more night at William's house. And that night, we are having a gathering. It was their last day in Sabah. Because the next day, they are leaving back to Hong Kong. Hope they will come back again and bringing more tourists to Koposizon Homestay.