The Day I Went Back 08/01/11

At first I was so happy to be back home again. It feels like I haven’t been home for so long. I arrived home at 9:37pm. And I was so surprised to see new dogs at home which I named her Dobby. She was so super active and she has nice fur. That night, I slept late at 12:10am. But the next day I have to wake up so early because I want to go to the church. That day, it is supposed to have lucky draw but too bad it was being postponed to another Sunday. How I wish I was there to collect my price. That Sunday, I woke up at 7am and getting ready to church. Too bad I was a little bit late so I end up need to walk to the church but I go with my grandmother and other grandmother who lived nearby. When we reach the church, the three of us sat together. Then, so sad I saw he was there too. Now I really want to avoid him completely out of my life. But he still can be my best friends. And again, lets it be just friend. Then, I met few of my new gang. When we will have a drinking and drunken session again? I really miss the moment with them. It was so fun and I really enjoy a lot. When, I saw he outside the church, I did not approach him. I think he was expecting me to approach him but maybe next time. I feel sad and guilty for not approaching him. Let us two be apart for a while. I don’t want to fall in love with him again for the second time because I feel so miserable with him. I’m not saying that he is being cruel to me but it just that I can’t take the decision that I made which is to end up our relationship. Hopefully, soon I can easily get over him. Let me forget that the two of us ever had a relationship. That Sunday, I keep on looking at the time because my dad wants so send me back to Rasa Ria Resort at 5pm. I feel so heavy and sad to go back there because I still not used to with the environment there. I could feel that part of me don’t want to leave the house. I could feel that part of me is crying but what else I can do. This was my only opportunity to get the experience. I forced myself to be strong and be confidence to face tomorrow. I forced myself not to cry when I leaved my house. Finally, I manage to control myself even though it looks clear that I don’t want to leave my home.