Hi readers, I have some minor problems. I want to share with you about myself. Few years ago, I ever felt in love with this guy. My best friend’s classmate. It started with accidentally one miscalled. We both not sure whether fate brought us together because there’s one time that suddenly I noticed one miscalled from unknown number. Then, I ask my friend whether she knows whose number was it. Then, so surprised to know that it was my friend’s classmate. Then, my friend asks him if he did miscall me but he told her that he did not. Therefore, on Sunday morning after the mass, I bravely went to meet him and ask about how he knows my number. And he told me that he also don’t know how can I have one miscalled from him. From that day, we both start getting well as a friend and I really comfortable when talking with him. He is funny and nice person too. And it’s true that I like his attitude. He is really a good person. Sometimes at night, he did text me. We become so close but it was just friend until one day he text me in more romantic way. And so stupid, I felt for it and I began to like him but not knowing much about him. At the same time, we both are in the same Sunday class. I think both our friends were so puzzled about us. I still remember the day during our Confirmation Day, after the Sunday mass is over, we all took photo together. At first I took picture with my friends, then suddenly, someone bring him along. I just can’t believe it that he went standing next to me and hold my hand. Even my friends said that we look like getting married. Then, we had a small celebration at the hall. After I had my meal, I saw him sitting alone at the corner then I went to his place. His phone is out of battery so he borrowed my phone. I heard his conversation; he said that he was with me. I was so surprised to hear it. When I ask him who was that, he just answer it was his friend but he did not tell me who was it. I hope I know about this earlier before I regret. Why he don’t want to tell me about this. So I though it was his just friends. Only a few days I started to like him, then I get to know that he have girlfriend and at the same time he is quarrelling with his girlfriend about me. Then, one night I ask him about why his fights with his girlfriend. Then, he told me that his girlfriend don’t want him to text me anymore. The most painful moment, I have to force myself not to see him again or even text him anymore because I felt in love with someone who is lying to me and himself. I just couldn’t take the truth. I suffered the real broken heart when I just started to fall in love then I will have to forget about him completely out of my mind. I just couldn’t hear what my friend told me that he is sad not to notice me before he felt in love with his girlfriend. The truth is hurt. Since then on, I never go to the church that reminds me of him. I went to the other church in town. I want to avoid from seeing him again. And only twice a year I went to that church that is during Christmas and Easter day. The pain that he put on me still not heals. I still can feel the great moment when we are together. I try to forget about him but I just can’t do it. I keep on forgetting to forget about him. I need to forget about me and him. The memory about him in my mind still not clear completely. And yesterday, I went to church for my neighbor wedding mass, I wish I will not see him again. But when the mass is about to start, I was so surprised to see him coming. That time, I feel like I want to go back home and don’t want to see him. After the mass, I went outside with my cousins. I try to avoid him but some part of me wants to meet him. I force myself to really avoid him. Then suddenly, he went outside. When I noticed him, I went back inside and go outside through another entrance. Too bad I think he bravely force himself to go and talk to me because all this while, I’m the one who start the conversation. But then, it will look so clear that I trying to avoid him if I did not go and talk with him. So, we had little conversation together. While we are talking I just want to find a way to get this conversation to end. After seeing him and talking with him again, now I had a problem to forget about him. He had fooled me once and now he had fooled me again. I just hate to keep on thinking about him. I don’t love him the way that I love him before. I just can’t stop fooling myself and make my own heart miserable. That is why I want to avoid from seeing him again. I just couldn’t take it that I love him so much that I have to forget about him. That’s what hurt me the most.
Truly by: Emma Maria (02/01/11)
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